The frame I'm looking through

They have such a hard skin, the germans...and my hands are so cold. Cold hurts...and I'm not only talking about my hands. I can't feel. I'm hardly holding the pen as I write, the cold wind made them senseless....useless. Now I can hardly write, or touch, shake hands, look for coins in my pocket for the ones whom the wind has frozen their minds, as told by the ones who have a frozen heart. I wonder until which point it was the wind...it's not windy forever. I hope the wind wont get to me. It's only my hands that are frozen now, and I keep on writing. The holocaust victims wrote with broken hands and broken hearts their last goodbyes, their last words, knowing they were. I don't know when mine would be.. I'll never know...and so I write. Today.

I've been noticing turists fall in love with Berlin, perhaps wishing they could once live here, tho the ones who do, wish for something better.. I'd say, since life here is no fairytale. People fight through the cold to get fed. People with talent and dreams. People who are truly good at what they love to do..but I guess what we love sometimes isn't enough. Brushes moving colors on the sidewalk, beats through moving bodies on the streets, strings and voices on the subway. They are the life of this city. Yes, the "brainless" are the life, the colors, the music, the ones who bring out smiles and laughter, the ones who remind you that life is to do the things you love, always, no matter what....to relax... To waste time once in a while...just to slow down and turn up the music.

Tall boots, high heels, tennis shoes...walk them by as fast as their feet can take them...they don't even have time to glance as they walk with their food in their mouths. They say time is precious...and they never do anything precious with their time. Is it culture? .....fascinating.

How much german culture do I need then, to swallow my laughter? or to give away hopes and dreams? I once looked at my relexion in the subway's dark window... I stared at my brown eyes..and saw nothing. Frustrating. Have my eyes lost their smile? I can't even see tears..so it was not sadness I was looking at. The next day the wind came...again, and washed away the tears they hold. Everything was blurry now, there was only something clear. A sound, the voice of a friend next to me.. love on her voice, with hands that helped me to see. Everything was clear as we started laughing.